Encountering Hope: Transforming Families, Building Bridges.
A Powerful First Chapter for the Oasis Encounter Parent Course in Croydon
In July, over six transformative weeks, something remarkable unfolded in our new Oasis Community Space at Oasis Academy Arena. The inaugural Oasis Encounter Parent Course brought together a diverse group of parents from across the Oasis Academy network, many of whom arrived carrying exhaustion, scepticism, and even a touch of hopelessness. What they found was something rare: an emotionally safe, empowering, and deeply restorative space to grow, not just as parents, but as individuals.
By the end of the programme, parents weren’t just requesting more, they were asking to become mentors, attend monthly alumni sessions, and help bring this course to others in their communities.
Our Vision and Why It Matters
At its heart, Oasis Encounter is a relationship-centred parenting course. We believe that lasting change is possible when caregivers are supported with empathy, practical tools, and community. It is designed to strengthen family relationships, promote mental wellbeing, emotional regulation and self-care, rebuild trust between parents and schools, and build a sense of community. Oasis Encounter is built on a simple but profound principle: Connection before correction. Compassion before control.
The results speak for themselves, not just in outcomes, but in tears, laughter, hugs, and hopeful conversations that lingered long after sessions ended.
A Week-by-Week Journey of Change
Over the six weeks, sixteen parents and carers undertook a journey that was not only informative, but transformative, for themselves, their children, and their wider family life. Each session of Oasis Encounter is built carefully on the last, creating a layered experience that combined therapeutic reflection with practical parenting strategies.
Session 1: Welcome and Self-Care
The course began by establishing a safe, non-judgmental space for honest conversation. We opened with warmth, safety, and the radical idea that a regulated parent is the foundation for a regulated child. Parents were encouraged to consider the importance of their own emotional and physical wellbeing as the foundation of effective parenting.
One parent initially convinced the course “wasn’t for her,” returned after the first week and completed the programme, later expressing a desire to become a peer mentor.
Another parent moved from “zero self-care” to taking 7–10 minutes for herself each day, a small step that proved transformative.
This first session broke isolation and planted the first seeds of belonging.
Session 2: Parental Presence and Relational Gestures
Parents explored simple yet powerful relational gestures. From eye contact, calm tone, to gentle touch we explored how the smallest things build trust that foster emotional connection with children.
"I actually look forward to going home now," a parent said, reflecting on her renewed bond with her child. For some, this was a turning point, shifting reactive habits into reflective parenting.
Session 3: De‑escalation and Accommodation
This week was a turning point. With new strategies for calming conflict and reframing behaviour, families saw real, immediate changes. This session focused on navigating conflict without power struggles, equipping parents to pause, de‑escalate, and interpret behaviour as communication rather than defiance.
Parents reported calmer homes, fewer confrontations, and in one case, a full week of school attendance for the first time.
Even basic routines improved: one parent proudly shared that her child went from changing clothes twice a week to five times.
These small breakthroughs are the building blocks of long-term change.
Session 4: Supporters and Siblings
This session revealed just how much isolation many parents had been carrying. When they saw they weren’t alone, something shifted.
One parent cried, saying, “I’ve never felt this safe in a group before.”
We explored the influence of family systems and community networks on parenting.
Parents realised they were not alone; others faced similar challenges.
One participant became emotional, saying she had “never felt so safe and understood in a group before.”
By this stage, what began as a course was becoming a community of mutual support.
Session 5: Basket Behaviours
We offered a framework to help overwhelmed parents decide what to prioritise.
Parents learned to categorise behaviours into three “baskets”:
Must change now
Can change later
Can be let go for now
This framework brought relief and clarity, helping parents focus on what truly matters rather than feeling overwhelmed by everything at once. One parent said, “Now I know what to tackle and what can wait,” said one parent who had felt paralyzed before.
Session 6: Announcements and the Sit‑In
The final week introduced simple but powerful tools to reduce friction and offer calm, connected discipline, without shame.
“I feel so different now than I did six weeks ago,” one parent reflected, echoing a sentiment shared by many.
The final session introduced two powerful tools:
Announcements: Preparing children for transitions to reduce resistance.
The Sit‑In: Staying present with a child in distress without shame or disconnection.
The emotional impact of the closing session was profound:
One parent admitted to “feeling heartbroken that the course was ending”.
Another reflected, “I feel so different now to how I felt six weeks ago, I wish I did this earlier”.
The programme closed with tears, gratitude, and a renewed sense of hope.
Outcomes and Reflections
By the end of the six weeks, parents moved from isolation to connection, and from control to understanding. The impact of the course went far beyond parenting tips. It touched lives. It rebuilt trust. It gave hope. Key outcomes included:
Improved school attendance and home routines.
Parents report calmer households and stronger bonds
Basic routines (like hygiene and communication) have improved
Isolation has been replaced with belonging
Mistrust toward schools is shifting toward partnership
Increased self-care and resilience among parents.
Formation of peer support networks that will continue beyond the course.
Requests for ongoing sessions and mentoring pathways, showing the depth of engagement and impact.
One of the most profound outcomes; parents not only felt transformed; they wanted to give back.
“I’ve done so many parenting courses before. I didn’t think I’d learn anything new. But I wish I’d found you years ago. I want to learn more and come back as a mentor to support others”
Facilitators observed, the group evolved from hesitation to trust, and from silence to laughter. The transformation was as relational as it was practical.
A Bridge Between Parents and Schools
This course didn’t just support families; it sparked honest dialogue between parents and the schools. Several participants shared their struggles navigating the school system, especially regarding children with additional needs. These insights are now shaping ongoing conversations with Oasis Academies, helping us build stronger bridges and improve support for both parents and educators.
Next Steps
Based on the success of this inaugural course, with your continued investment and partnership, Oasis Encounter in Croydon will now:
Expand to an 8‑week format for deeper reflection (starting 23rd September 2025)
Offer monthly alumni sessions to sustain momentum.
Develop peer mentoring opportunities for returning parents.
Run themed follow-up workshops
Continue building bridges between families and our academies, ensuring joined‑up support for students and carers.
Create a private community group (e.g., WhatsApp) for ongoing peer support
Strengthen collaboration between parents and Oasis Academies
The next Oasis Encounter begins on 23rd September, and registration is now open:
Book your space here
A Community Transformed
What began as a course became a community of hope, a place where parents felt seen, heard, and supported. Thank You to our funders, partners Oasis Academies, and supporters: this wouldn’t have been possible without all your investment. The Oasis Encounter Parent Course didn’t just equip the parents. It restored them. As one parent summarised:
“It’s been brilliant. I’m heartbroken it’s ending.”
But in truth, this is not an ending. It is the beginning of stronger families, connected communities, and futures full of possibility.
Because at Oasis, hope is something we grow together. Together, we’re building stronger families, stronger communities, and brighter futures.
Breaking Cycles: The Impact of Trusted Adults
Oasis youth support practitioner, Taylor Aigner, writes about her first-hand experience of working with young people facing adversity. Overall, Taylor argues that trusted adults are the key for helping young people break the cycle of violence and shame and build a better future.
By working in areas of Croydon hardest hit by poverty, I know from first-hand experience the enormous impact of providing supplementary aid and support for young people who are struggling.
It is imperative that children and young people have trusted and responsible adults in their lives. It not only shapes their social and emotional development, it helps them become positive members of their communities and have aspirational career prospects.
Often, in areas and communities that face socio-economic disadvantages – the number of children and young people that lack trusted adults is high.
Levels of domestic violence, substance abuse, criminality and exploitation are extreme. Unsafe environments, a lack of guidance and support often contribute to young people making poor or dangerous choices. These children and young people are experiencing mental health issues, lower wellbeing and struggle to envision a future beyond their current circumstances.
Intervention programmes aim to change this trajectory. I hold a caseload of children with a number of vulnerabilities who I see weekly on a 1 to 1 basis, for a minimum of 12 weeks. These individuals are referred by other professionals because they face a range of risk-factors.
One young person, Tarah (name changed), has grown up in an unstable and disruptive family home. There is parental hostility and conflict. Tarah has witnessed domestic violence throughout her childhood and has experienced a range of Adverse Childhood Experiences. Tarah internalised this trauma and would refer to herself as a ‘bad child’ and a ‘horrible kid’. She lacked self-worth.
I explained to Tarah that when children are raised in disruptive and unstable environments, they can become behaviourally and emotionally reactive. Being a reactive child can manifest on the surface as bad or poor behaviour; however, it’s often a direct result of living in a traumatising environment. It does not mean they are a ‘horrible’ or ‘bad’ child.
From this session onwards, Tarah no longer refers to herself with negative labels and now uses the term ‘reactive’.
David is another young person who at just fourteen years old, is multilingual and a young carer. In a self-assessment, he scored himself lowest in areas rating self-perception on having good qualities, things to be proud of, and having a positive attitude towards himself.
David didn’t realise how extraordinary it was to speak multiple languages—no one had ever told him until I did. He carries responsibilities far beyond his years, yet he never complains. He continues to show up and give his best, despite the pressure.
In later sessions, I asked David to create a CV draft for me. In his quality and skills sections, he listed the things that he never considered noteworthy before.
These are just two examples of the many improved outcomes for young people we are seeing through the support that intervention programmes provide.
By providing consistent guidance, structure, and encouragement, these programmes give children and young people the tools to realise their potential and overcome the struggles they face.
The real-time impact of intervention programmes is a powerful reminder of how imperative this transformative work is for shaping better futures for children facing disadvantage and hardship so that there is no one left out.
Building a Truly Inclusive Education System: Why building the bridge between Youth Work & Education Matters
It’s time to build the bridge.
Let’s be honest: our education system isn’t working for everyone.
Far from it.
Right now, nearly 1 in 3 young people — particularly those with neurodiversity, Special Educational Needs (SEN), or Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) — are being left behind. They often don’t feel seen, heard, or even safe in school.
As John Barneby, CEO of Oasis Community Learning, puts it:
“Inclusion can’t be an add-on. It has to be the heartbeat of how we do education.”
Mission 44’s latest report says the same. Exclusions are rising, and it’s our most vulnerable students paying the price. Too many young people feel invisible in the very places designed to help them thrive.
Behind the Numbers: What’s Really Going On
Post-pandemic, things have only worsened.
1 in 5 pupils now miss at least 10% of school.
Over 150,000 young people are severely absent — missing more than half their education.
But let’s be clear: this isn’t about laziness.
Often it’s linked to things like Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA) or Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) — where anxiety, trauma, or sensory overload make school feel not just hard, but impossible.
These young people aren’t “acting out.”
They’re crying out.
And when school stops feeling safe, they retreat.
The result? Lower grades, worsening mental health, and fewer chances later in life.
So, if we solely focus on is attendance and results — we miss the point.
Inclusion isn’t a side issue. It needs to be the foundation.
What Young People Are Actually Telling Us
They’re not whispering — they’re shouting:
Over 60% of students with SEN say school has negatively affected their mental health.
Nearly 70% have missed school due to anxiety.
Many say their wellbeing isn’t being heard, let alone supported.
Mission 44 calls for a national inclusion framework, regular student voice surveys, and more investment in inclusive teams and mentors.
We back this 100%.
Why Youth Work Matters More Than Ever
Schools are buckling under the weight of a collapsing support system. CAMHS, social services — overstretched or inaccessible. Teachers are doing a heroic job, but they can’t and shouldn’t do it all.
This is where youth work steps in — not as a magic fix, but as a vital bridge between education and community.
It offers something too many young people are missing:
A consistent, trusted adult who listens, supports, and walks alongside them.
This isn’t about replacing teachers.
It’s about strengthening the team around the child — including their teachers, families, carers, and communities.
What Youth Work Brings
Relational trust – someone who listens without judgment.
Holistic support & opportunities – care for the whole person, not just academic performance.
Flexibility – a space to be, not just a place to perform.
Prevention and restoration – mentoring and therapeutic support over punishment and exclusion.
Welcoming Safe spaces – before and after school, built around young people’s needs.
These aren’t just nice-to-haves.
They’re the ingredients for real change. Because when trust is built, people thrive.
Spaces That Feel Like Home
In the Feels Like Home research by Relational Hub and Youthscape, young people made it crystal clear:
What matters most is simple but profound — warmth, safety, connection, belonging.
One young person said it best about the youth hub they attend:
“It feels like home.”
Youth hubs aren't just buildings — they’re emotional safe havens, where young people are seen, known, and welcomed in ways that schools often can’t provide on their own.
What This Looks Like in Croydon (Building the bridge)
We’re not talking theory — this is already happening in Croydon, where Oasis is working hand-in-hand with our local academies and partners to build something different.
✔️ Embedding youth work in schools
At Oasis Academy Arena, we’re launching a Community Space that offers after-school support, mentoring, and family engagement. At Oasis Academy Shirley Park we’re working in partnership with local and national youthwork organisations, welcoming them into school to offer holistic, therapeutic support for those most ‘at-risk’.
✔️ Listening and co-designing
Partnering with Citizens UK, we’re listening to and involving students, families, and community groups in designing solutions, not just receiving them.
✔️ Creating new roles for inclusion and community safety
At Oasis Academy Shirley Park, our Community Engagement Lead, funded by the InfraRed Foundation, supports at-risk students through partnerships, streamlining referrals, and impact tracking.
✔️ Mentoring for those at highest risk
Thanks to Mission 44 and the Greater London Authority, vulnerable young people are matched with volunteer mentors or youth support practitioners through Oasis 360 Mentoring.
✔️ Supporting families too
Through our Oasis Encounter Group, that meets around a meal and offers free childcare, we’re equipping parents with NVR tools and creating spaces for peer to peer support.
✔️ Redesigning community spaces
Together with Croydon Council, Palace for Life, Croydon Voluntary Action and the Football Foundation, we’re building a new MUGA in Ashburton Park (with more than 30% free community access), alongside partnering with Croydon Council receiving a £1.5m grant from the Heritage Lottery Fund for a park regeneration project.
And coming soon: a campaign to transform the park’s Lodge into a cutting-edge youth and community centre.
No Need to Reinvent the Wheel — Just Working Together
We’re not out to compete or duplicate. We want to collaborate with brilliant local and national organisations already doing great work. We’ll keep learning, keep adapting, and keep building contextualised, sustainable models of change.
The Oasis model: Community at the Centre
All of this flows from the Oasis’ model — it’s not an extra. It’s our DNA.
At our core, our model brings together schools, youth work, family support, and wider community engagement under one local leadership structure, creating a cohesive network that supports young people and families not just academically, but socially, emotionally, and practically. It’s not just about running a great school—it’s about building a thriving community where every individual, regardless of background, has the opportunity to flourish.
This Is Just The Start
If we carry on as we are, we’ll keep letting down the same 30%. But it doesn’t have to be that way. At Oasis, we’re not claiming youth work is a silver bullet. But embedding youth work into education? It’s a vital step toward the bigger change our education system desperately needs. Every child deserves to feel that they belong. Every child deserves to feel like they matter. Every child deserves to believe they have a future.
This is what inclusion can start to looks like. That’s the standard we are aiming for.
To learn more about our work in Croydon please visit: www.oasis-ashburtonpark.org
To learn more about Oasis’ work throughout the UK please visit www.oasisuk.org